on Saturday, November 15, 2008 6:24 PM
Super duper pissed now.I dun wanna use the f word.Cos its not worth it.It's tiring.If you think that running a camp is that easy, please. You are so wrong.If you think that conducting all that games is that easy,please. Think again.If you think that trying to come up with games that is suitable for all,please. Why not think on your own.If you say that the food that we provided is inedible or not filling at all,why not you come and cook for us?If you say that you are tired.please. Is it only you or all of us?If you think that scolding and lecturing people makes my life easier and nice,please. You think it's my interest? You think I enjoy it?Yes, we may be leaders. But is the discipline and basic form of respect even there?If creating trouble for your leaders is your how you define your leadership, then you need seriously reflection.If you simply comment on whatever that is not to your liking without thinking about others' feelings, I tell you now.It's painful and it hurts.If everything is plain stupid and useless and really is bad till the core.Tell me what's good.If you think that a camp is full of luxury. You get what you want.Then I tell you.YOU ARE SO WRONG.Yes. This camp may be a time for bonding. It may be one that can be fun to everyone.But that purely depend on everyone's mentality and contribution.If you come and happily just comment on whatever you dun like.Then where on earth do you find the fun?All the GLs and excos have tried their best to do everything they can for everyone.Sacrificing their food to keep you all full.We may not have gotten a bite, but we are constantly concern if everyone is full.We may not be able to provide anything good, perhaps only snacks and bread.It didn't matter if the excos dun eat, cos all we want is to take care of everyone present.To make sure that you enjoy yourselves, to make sure that the camp is a memorable one to everyone.But it was seriously disappointing when everyone gave us that attitude of not being understanding, not able to realise how much effort we have put in to make everything possible.Such hurting comments like "stupid" would mean a lot to us even though we didn't show it.Not being appreciative to the GLs, the excos and even the ex-excos really made us feel so helpless.Talking nicely to everyone didn't help.Neither did the harsh way of scolding did.Then tell me. What is it that we can do?This is perhaps the first time that I flare up so often,the first time that I have to stop activities so frequently,the first time where all the excos sacrifice their sleep to discuss about everything that went wrong.Everything that we could still do to help everyone.But all you gave us was that non-hyper attitude.Yes, I may agree that waterbombs was something that everyone enjoyed.I admitted that I totally ruined the mood when I started screaming at everyone.I didn't mind when whoever threw that waterbomb at me though it wasn't nice.But it was how rowdy it got when you started hurting your own councillors when it wasn't right.I felt totally down when there was no chance for everyone to play with whatever waterbombs that the GLs prepared so that everyone could play. I was totally in for a fun time with you all cos I liked it too.But it was that that made me spoil everything.If you think that making everything upside down made me feel high and mighty, then I'm sorry.It's never that case.If you ever did observe that throughout the whole camp.A total of 5 groups with at least 50 people,how was the atmosphere like?If you told me that it was all fun and hyper all the time, then I dun see how other camps are run.Making everyone do a simple food cheer could make everyone feel so frustrated.How the excos all tried to bring the mood up but all you all did was to show that you didn't bother. It's frustrating till the point that we could seriously do something that we didn't want to do.We could just collect back all the food and start screaming at each and everybody.We could just do any unpleasant things that we could think of.But how would you all understand our frustrations?If you think that being an exco simply means that standing aside to see everyone get tortured by whatever activities you have,screaming as and when we like.Then I think you all seriously immature.As teenagers, not to mention councillors,Its time everyone grew up.Yes. Talking back to whoever is at the front is as simple as it is.Just screaming out whatever you are displeased at is the simplest and most satisfying thing that you can do.We scream, then you listen for that moment.Deep down in your heart, you are cursing.Cursing at me. I'm not someone without emotions.I've got feelings.Yes. I know you are fed-up with how I'm treating everyone.Who doesn't like a camp to be fun and enjoyable.Who likes one where there's this crazy and retarded person scolding people time to time.I know everything that you have said.I know everything that you are unhappy with.I know everything that you tell others about me.I KNOW!It's not about just handling you all.It's not just about handling the instructions that the teachers pass down.It's much more than that.Even after screaming and scolding,the next time I start talking to everyone as a whole,I feel scared.I hate it when my tone just comes as being wanting to scold you all.I want to be that happy person as I started out as.All the negative thing that you talk behind me I can feel it.It's as though I have just taken an exam. It's as though I knew that I would have failed with a depressing F9.But as usual, I kept my smile on my face.But why not put yourselves into our shoes?It's uncommon that Chien Nee and I had to apologise infront of everyone about the things that didn't went smoothly.Why didn't it came to everyone that we could go through thick and thin together.Everyone knew how much money we had for the camp.Yet, we tried our best to cater the best.Even when the budget exceeded, we still tried.If not, all of you would have starved and died of hunger througout the whole camp.Why couldn't everyone just think that having that one slice of pizza was enough.Why not think that there were others who didn't get any,and was as hungry as you were?WHY?This is how humans are.Overly materialistic. Especially in our generation.All the good food like pizza, nasi lemak was all gone in just a few moments.But for breakfast, when we provided bread, so many claimed that they had no appetite.So many complained yet again.To emphasise over again. This is a CAMP.NOT any holiday.You do not have the luxury to have whatever you want.The excos could easily just stayed in the SC room with the air-con throughout the whole night.Instead, when Chien Nee insisted that all the excos slept in the bunks, we followed.That's how we want to go through with everyone.When the ex-excos spent so much money, their own money to buy snacks for you all.Especially after a dinner that was not filling.Can you tell me that you were not grateful for that moment where you had some food?They could just simply say hi and bye without having to spend any cent.They didn't have to go through the night walk.They didn't have to spend the effort to interact and try to bond with everyone.However, when someone feels ill after that,you actually have the cheek to blame it on them that it was what they brought that cause something like that to happen.Can I ask, where's your conscience?Of course, the night walk was one thing that made everyone happy.When there was a possiblity that the night walk may get cancelled,if you saw how the GLs reacted, your heart would ache.All the weeks of preparation made them really felt that they were all there for a purpose.All the negotiations with Miss Ong,trying to calm the GLs down, so that you all could really enjoy something in the camp,all of them were really glad when everyone was participating in the night walk.I dunno how you shall react if you are reading this.Yes this may be my talking grounds.But if you are seriously unhappy about anything above, come and tell me.I dunno how many, except knowing many would have hated me since perhaps the start when I got this position,or be it during the camp.What can I do about it?Some said that we had attitude problem, but perhaps check yours too.Yes. Maybe everyone was at fault.There's some serious reflection to do.If you can, constructive feedback is definitely welcomed.Yes.I could have been naggy,I could have some serious attitude problem,I could have possible be the cause of making the whole camp so not enjoyable,I could have been the one that made you all afraid of not being hyper when you wanted to in fear of being scolded.So up till this point, what would these few tears matter?Labels: Pain
SHERMIN