on Saturday, July 31, 2010 11:00 PM
I'm a dilemma myself. Big ridiculous dilemma.I've got 5 presentations to do next week and I can't concentrate cos poly is damn sucky and they wants me to make sucky and difficult decisions. So I think life is crap cos I hate making such decisions, hence concluding that I'm not in a dilemma, but rather I'm a dilemma myself.Am thinking about the damn SPOT programme. I should seriously THINK. I needa be myself, and not someone to impress other people. I'm not really interested about SPOT though it's gonna be super beneficial to my future. But, really. Firstly, I'm not enjoying myself in poly (though Idk if SPOT will make me value my life in SP more). Secondly, it requires commitment (this is just a lame excuse so that I can tell myself I'll die in SPOT so I shouldn't go for it). I'm just a moron.My mum prolly wants me to go for it. Or at least just TRY for the interview. But I'm just not interested.I keep thinking I have friends who didn't even attend the briefing, and probably just gave up the chance though they might be super smart and intelligent and for me, I could have just been lucky during O levels and they gave me this opportunity.So, why should I care so much since I've already quite decided that I don't want to go.Then, I keep thinking about how some of my friends and my parents want me to go. And they make me think like I how I'm stupid for giving up this chance that came to me twice already.
FML.I think I should just be an ordinary student, finish and get my diploma and just graduate like the other 5000 people who entered SP with me. Yes. The lucky 150 scholars can happily be geniuses for all they want. Then I'll go sign up to attend the interview for SPSEC's sub committee position so that at least I won't waste my life in SP. I got a CCA ya know. And I'm more positive in pinning my hopes on having a CCA and believing that it'll make me more attached to school. Whatever, I contradict myself. Hafta rush Event Exp Portfolio, POM Tutorial ppt, Law Tutorial ppt, AVS report + ppt, EMC ppt. Damn exhausted.Labels: XXX
SHERMIN